Lead for the hard news story

1. The structure of the hard news story

In English writing, the paragraph often begins with a statement of its central idea, known as a topic sentence, followed by a series of subdivisions of the central idea. These subdivisions have the purpose of developing the topic sentence, preparing for the addition of other ideas in later paragraphs.

We learned that journalism writing takes the same approach. First, you point out the most important thing or or things, the lead. It will be followed by the body, which includes supporting evidence and examples for the lead.

But the similarity ends here.News writing veers away from English composition as it is traditionally taught. Journalistic writing does not emphasize the end part of the story because there is no conclusion, while English composition class puts quite an emphasis on the conclusion.

Constructing an effective lead, therefore, requires the writer to confront the whole story at the outset in some meaningful way. For most beginners in news writing, this is the greatest obstacle they will have to overcome because they have to change their writing habits acquired over the years in composition classes.

2. How to write a lead

There are many different ways of writing a lead. One way is to find the 5 Ws and one H elements and use only important ones.

Suppose you collect the following information:

There will be no increase in property taxes this year. We are not going to ask our residents to pay for the cuts they are suffering because of slashes in the federal budget. We had planned to spend $3 million in community development block grants to rebuild sidewalks that are crumbling in the downtown area, but those funds have been cut. These sidewalks were built 30 years ago, and we need to replace them. We will go ahead with the sidewalk project this year, but increased property taxes will not fund it. If we cannot find alternative federal funds, we will attempt to raise the city sales tax, at least for a year, to pay for this vital project.

You got the six elements:
What. Downtown sidewalks will be rebuilt this year.
Why Cuts in federal budget will cost the city $3 million in community block grants
How Look for alternative funds
or increase sales tax
no increase in property taxes
Who John Smith
Where City Hall press conference
When Monday

Usually you emphasize who, what, where and when in the lead part. But the lead could be different, depending on the circumstances.
Depending on the elements that should be emphasized, you can write a variety of leads.

1) How, what, why, who and when are emphasized in the first paragraph
The city will not increase property taxes this year but still will rebuild downtown sidewalks, even if it loses $3 million in federal community development funds, Mayor John Smith said Monday.

How and where in the second Paragraph

However, the mayor said that the city sales tax may need to be increased to pay for the project. "If we cannot find alternative federal funds, we will attempt to raise the city sales tax, at least for a year," Smith said in a City Hall press conference.

2) How emphasized in the first paragraph along with other elements
Mayor John Smith said Monday that the city will not increase property taxes this year to pay for federal funding cuts, but it may have to increase sales taxes.

3) How is emphasized in the first paragraph.
The city sales tax may be increased this year if the city cannot find alternative funding sources for a project to rebuild sidewalks, Mayor John Smith said Monday.

4) Why and what
A $3 million cut in federal community block grants will not stop the city from rebuilding downtown sidewalks this year, Mayor John Smith said Monday.

5) What and other elements
Downtown sidewalks will be rebuilt this year without an increase in property taxes, Mayor John Smith said Monday during a City Hall press conference.

What elements should be emphasized?
You have to consider the following factors:
1) What has been reported in the past. Reporters are always looking for something new.
2) How the audience feels about the subject.
3) Instructions from the editor
4) How the reporter feels about the subject.

3. History on the length of the lead

1) In old days when the life was more leisurely, newspapers used a long lead, shown below.

An article in The New York Times published in 1890

*DANBURY, Conn., Feb. 2 -- This city suffered the most disastrous fire in its history this morning. It consumed a half dozen large buildings and several minor structures in the very heart of the business district, Main and Liberty streets, and cleaned out many of the largest retail establishments, besides a half hundred or more offices and over four hundred people occupying tenements in the
blocks. The total loss will be something over $300,000, the bulk of which falls on Charles Hull, representing the Hull estate.

2) After the First World War, people' life became more complex along with the industrialization in the United States. So newspapers have to respond to changing circumstances.

After the First World War, the wire services hired readability experts to study their copy and make recommendations.
For example, Dr. Rudolph Flesh suggested that the most readable writing should be made up of words averaging 1.5 syllables and sentences averaging no more than 19 words. Later, the AP succeeded in reducing its average lead sentence length from 27 to 23 words and its word length in leads from 1.74 to 1.55 syllables. Another wire service the United Press retained Robert Gunning, who developed a "fog index," an index measuring how easy a sentence can be understood.

3) Streamlined Leads:

By the end of the 1950s, newspapers had emphasized readability and produced a streamlined lead consisting of a single sentence, usually less than 25 words in length.The have considered not only the busy life style of readers but also the increasing pressure from electronic journalism.

Today when editors talk about lead writing, they mean the ability to construct a single emphatic sentence that conveys the essential elements of a given story.

4) One paragraph for the lead?
You need to avoid overcrowding the lead. Don't choke your lead with detailed facts. The lead of a story is usually confined to the first paragraph, but it needn't be. A lead may consist of two or three paragraphs or more, if that is the best way to present the material to the reader. Don't try to jam all the five Ws and one H into one paragraph or even two, if it makes comprehension difficult.

4. Lead Language

Lead should be an emphatic sentence. *In lead writing, the most useful techniques for gaining emphasis are word order, voice, verb selection, subordination and coordination.

1) WORD ORDER:

English composition -- importance-- end,
Journalistic writing -- beginning,

(Original)
New strains of tuberculosis resistant to
traditional drug treatment are being spread by
lax practices in hospitals and outpatient
clinics, scientists warned yesterday.

(Better)
Lax practices in hospitals and outpatient
clinics are contributing to the spread of new
strains of tuberculosis resistant to traditional
drug treatment, scientists warned yesterday.

(Original)
After months of unsuccessful attempts to sell a controversial tax package to Greensburg residents, City Manager Frant Gibson submitted his resignation today to City Council.

(Better)
City Manager Frant Gibson resigned today after months of unsuccessful attempts to sell a controversial tax package to Greensburg residents.

** Exception: when the writer feels that the key element of the lead would be more meaningful to the reader if placed in a wider context. To do this, the writer use a subordinate phrase or clause to introduce the main idea.

*CHANTILLY, Va. -- After 10 days of meetings, an international effort to forge a treaty
on global warming has resulted in only an agreement on the number of committees to work on the issue and on the need for another session.

2) VOICE:
Since the active voice of verbs is ordinarily stronger and more emphatic than the passive, news writers prefer it especially in constructing leads.
(Original)
Three parked vehicles and a storefront were damaged early today by a car that ran
out of control on Main Street near 17th.

(Better)
A car that ran out of control on Main Street early today damaged three parked
vehicles before coming to rest in the window of a dress shop near 17th Street.

*Exception: When the receiver of the action is more significant than the doer, use of the passive voice permits writers to put that element at the beginning of the sentence.

Peter McDonald, a former chairman of the Navajo tribe, was sentenced yesterday to 450 days in jail for bribery, fraud, conspiracy and ethics violations in the tribe's purchase of a ranch.

3) VERB SELECTION:

In any sentence, the verb sets all of the other parts in motion. By selecting vigorous, descriptive verbs, writers provide the highest possible acceleration for the sentence and the maximum impact for the ideas it conveys.

* A raging fire, fanned by heavy winds, was out of control for more than five hours last night at an abandoned warehouse at 11th and Main streets.

a) traffic "choked" rather than "filled" the downtown area
b) hail storms "ravaged" rather than "destroyed" crops
c) striking transit workers "shouted down" rather than "rejected" a proposed settlement.

In each case, the verb arouses a sensory response in the reader. To obtain this effect, however, writers cannot go beyond the facts of the story. In the search for the telling verb, however, accuracy remains the final criterion.

4) Subordination and coordination:

Complex sentence: (an independent clause and a dependent clause)

(Original) City Manager Frank Gibson charged Greensburg Council members with "self interest" and "political cowardice" when he resigned yesterday.

(Better) City Manager Frank Gibson resigned yesterday, charging Greensburg Council members with "self interest" and "political cowardice." *** Because the resignation is the most important element, it should be in the main clause. ***

Compound sentence-- two independent clauses
This works well because most news stories are based on a single news element or incident.
In less frequent cases where two or more important news elements belong in the lead, a different structure could be used.

In response to the worst drought in California history, Gov, Pete Wilson yesterday named an emergency task force to deal with the critical water shortage and Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley called for mandatory water rationing in the city.

More Americans are quitting smoking, but more are dying from smoking -related illnesses--nearly 450,000 a year--as the habits of the 1950s and '60s take an increasing toll, federal officials said yesterday.

5. Don't begin with a generality.

Plans were being made today for doubling the capacity of the city's sewage treatment plan.
*Plans are not specific enough.

Cost estimates and blueprints were being drawn up today for doubling the capacity of the city's sewage treatment plan.
*Cost estimates and blueprints are not specific enough.

6. Be wary of figures
When you use figures, make sure that what these numbers mean.

(Original)
Central High School's flood relief drive stood at $1,500 today.
** There is no hint as to whether the fund raisers are doing well or poorly.

(Better)
Central High School's flood relief drive stood at $1,500 today, 50 percent of the goal.

7. Don't bury the lead.
In this lead, the major element has been buried several paragraphs down, instead of merely being put in the first paragraph.

8. Avoid "question" leads:
The reporter's job is not to ask questions but to answer. A question in the lead should be provocative or have a telling effect. It usually must be answered quickly or the reader will be left dangling.

Will Riverside annex the Brockhurst subdivision? The City Council decided last night that the answer is "No."

9. Different types of leads
1) The blind lead -- the story does not name the people in the story in the lead.
If a person is well known to the readers, the person will be named in the lead. Otherwise, that person will be identified with his or her age, living area or occupation in the lead and will be named in the following paragraphs.

2) the negative lead
Main Street won't be closed to traffic Monday afternoon .....

3) The direct quote lead. Lazy writers use, but please avoid it. A news source never says anything with the idea of composing a lead for a news story; and rarely does anyone say anything that, word for word, makes the best possible beginning. The reporter can almost always say it better because that's what he sets out to do and is trained to do.

4) the question lead

10. How do you identify people first in the lead or other parts of the story.
(Name, age, address) Richard A. Williams, 57, of the 2200 block of Chestnut St., said, " ...."

(Name, occupation, position) James McDonnell, an area real estate broker, has been elected president of the Citizens Action Committee.

(Name, age, geography) James Dean, an 8-year-old Greensburg boy who was critically injured April 5 in a freak playground accident, died today at Memorial Hospital.

(Name, position) Tom Johnson, the only FBI agent ever convicted of espionage, was sentenced to 20 years in prison yesterday by a judge who suggested that the agency should not have placed such an inept agent in control of sensitive documents.

(Name, position) Richard A. Williams, a widely known trial lawyer and a former Philadelphia district attorney, was critically

(a person with multiple roles) To identify a multifaceted personality: single out two or three of the subject's best-known areas of activity and holding back others for later in the story.

Roger Anderson, today's lecturer, is a man who has been a chemist, marine biologist, diver and underwater explorer and an author of several books on environmental subjects.

Roger Anderson, marine biologist and author of "The Silent Sea," will speak on the threat of ocean pollution at ...